


Raccoons and Other Perils

by SwanFloatieKnight, writeranthea



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Arthur is a clotpole, Attempt at Humor, Caring, Dorks in Love, Established Relationship, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Minor Injuries, Two Shot, and Merlin apparently lost his ability to think
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-24
Updated: 2020-01-24
Packaged: 2021-02-19 06:36:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22373485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SwanFloatieKnight/pseuds/SwanFloatieKnight, https://archiveofourown.org/users/writeranthea/pseuds/writeranthea
Summary: A: Why is your back all scratched up?[Flashback to B chasing a raccoon after A told B to leave it alone.]B: I'm having an affair.Chapter 1:SwanFloatieKnightChapter 2:writeranthea
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 33
Kudos: 157





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is Merthur in that meme setting. And because we couldn't decide who of them would be A and who B, we decided to go for both :D

A/N: I posted this fic on Ao3, and on Ao3 alone. If you read this on any other website or platform, please consider that I did not consent to this.

* * *

Screams pulled Merlin from the depths of his sleep. Screams that came from outside and sounded a little frightening in the dead of the night. He wondered why Arthur’s side of the bed was empty, why his boyfriend hadn’t returned home yet. A look at the alarm clock on his nightstand told him that it was 1 a.m. and Arthur had to work in the morning. Why would he come home so late?

Then, the screams could be heard again, this time accompanied by muffled laughter, and Merlin got up and shuffled over to the window. It was cold outside his bed, he was tired and wanted to go back to sleep. He really, really hoped that whatever was just happening outside his window was none of his business and he could instantly go back to bed.

But of course, he wasn’t that lucky. Arthur’s car was not in the entrance way. Instead, there were Gwaine, Elyan and Leon standing, all of them doubling over with laughter, and the screaming, of which Merlin now was sure that it was Arthur’s, could be heard a little further away right down the street. He rolled his eyes. Great. Why did Arthur always manage to get into trouble? And what did Gwaine (he strongly believed that he was the main troublemaker behind that episode) have to do with it this time?

Merlin put a jacket on and grabbed the keys, then he went outside. It was even colder here and he only wore his pyjama. Goosebumps crept over his skin, he shuddered.

"Gwaine! What the hell is going on here? What did you do to Arthur this time?", he whispered furiously.

The laughter stopped, the three men turned around and looked a little guiltily at Merlin. Gwaine raised his hands in an attempt to appear innocent. "Merlin! We... actually we didn't do anything this time, right?" Leon and Elyan nodded. "We just... Arthur lost a bet."

"A bet?" Merlin slowly raised his eyebrows. "What the actual fuck, Gwaine?"

Leon stepped forward. "Listen, Merlin, we went to the pub after work, just a few beers, and then we walked home together and your house was the first on our way. And there was that raccoon sitting on your bin and..." He couldn't suppress his laughter any longer.

Elyan picked up the speech. "Arthur took a stick and told us he would now heroically scare off that raccoon."

"And we all said: Bet you won't, just leave it alone", Gwaine added.

“A bet, you said, right?” Merlin faked a cough to hide his laugh. He looked down the street. A few metres away Arthur could be seen, more like a shadow in the dim light of the street lamps, definitely struggling with something. Something that was apparently a bloody raccoon.

“Oh, Gods.” Merlin grinned. “He really is an incurable dollop head, isn’t he?”

“Who are you telling this,” answered Gwaine.

“Merlin!” Arthur’s desperate call could be heard.

Merlin couldn’t suppress his laughter any longer. “Damn it, Gwaine, I would tell you to stop making him look like a fool but it’s incredibly hard not to… I mean, he’s adorable like this, isn’t he?”

Elyan shook his head, but also laughed. “Merlin, I think we’re having a bad influence on you. Don’t you want to safe your boyfriend?”

“You’re right.” Merlin cleared his throat a few times and straightened his face before he walked a few steps down the street, following Arthur who was still fighting that raccoon that clung to his hoodie.

“ **Anforlæt hine**!”

His eyes glowed gold for a moment, and the raccoon seemed to float in the air a few centimetres above Arthur’s shoulders, then it fell to the ground and ran off into the night.

Arthur turned around, stood and straightened his clothes. “Merlin! What took you so long?” But he still looked bewildered, and Merlin had to stifle another laugh at his ruffled appearance.

“Well, maybe next time you just scream a little louder to wake me up. And the whole neighbourhood as well.” He pulled Arthur in for a hug and a short kiss, but quickly let go of him again when Arthur flinched under his touch and a quiet but pained sound escaped his lips. “Damn, did that raccoon hurt you?”

“Nah, ‘tis but a scratch.” Arthur shook his head and walked back towards their house where Elyan, Gwaine and Leon were still standing in the entrance grinning and giggling.

“Did you survive that ferocious beast’s attack?” Leon asked Arthur when they had arrived.

Arthur waved him off. “Shut up, Leon. Would be best if we all went to bed now, wouldn’t it?”

“Sure, princess, whatever you say.” Gwaine gave Arthur a clap on the back that made Arthur hiss. “Oh, sorry.” He pulled his hand back, but Merlin was sure that Gwaine looked not the least bit sorry.

The three men made their way out of the entrance. Gwaine waved at them before they turned around the corner, and Elyan yelled “Night, lads!”, then they were gone.

“Yeah, night.” Arthur sighed, his shoulders slumped and he looked really tired all of a sudden. “Right, let’s go to bed. Guess we kept our neighbours awake for long enough.”

“Sounds like the first reasonable idea you had today.”

Merlin yawned and opened the door to let them in. Five minutes later though, when he saw Arthur shirtless in the bathroom brushing his teeth, he also registered the damage the raccoon had actually done to his boyfriend’s skin. It was more than ‘but a scratch’, it were several scratches. Merlin sighed.

“Darling, let me take care of your back. These might get infected otherwise.”

Arthur grumbled wordlessly around the toothbrush in his mouth, but didn’t resist when Merlin got the antiseptic out of the cupboard and started cleaning the scratches the raccoon had left on his skin.

Merlin shook his head, grinning. “Oh, but tell me, where do these scratches come from? Are you having an affair?”

“Shut up, Merlin.” Arthur spat the toothpaste into the washbasin. “That damned raccoon jumped on me. He attacked me. Crazy thing.” He pulled away from Merlin’s touch and grabbed his sleeping shirt. “You finished? Good.”

Merlin put the antiseptic away, turned off the light and followed his boyfriend into the bedroom. When he snuggled under the blankets next to Arthur, lying safe and warm in his arms, he couldn’t hold back though. “Gwaine actually told me what you did. With that raccoon. And why it attacked you.”

Arthur snorted. “I guess I would rather let you think that I’m having an affair now. You’re never gonna let me live that down, are you?”

Merlin pulled Arthur’s arms closer to his chest and pressed a kiss onto the back of one of Arthur’s hands. “Nah. Never. From time to time you just need someone to remind you what a dollop head you are and have always been.”

“I’ll show you what else that dollop head can do”, Arthur replied tiredly. He buried his forehead between Merlin’s shoulder blades and pressed a kiss onto his soft and warm skin. The scratches on his bed burned enough to hurt his pride a little. But Merlin was so clumsy that sooner or later he would know a story just as embarrassing as this here to tell about Merlin. And with that satisfying thought, Arthur finally fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The spell is made up by me and I haven't taken that Old English class yet. xD so I hope it is right, but it is supposed to translate to "Let him go!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whelp, here it goes. My first ever Merlin-related piece. I thought about it for a long time (ever since I watched the series in 2012, really) but I never wrote one. 
> 
> I haven't watched the series in a few years, so please excuse any OOCness that may have wormed its way into his story :-D It was a fun challenge!
> 
> Not betaed, all mistakes are mine.
> 
> A/N: I posted this story on AO3. If you see it on any other website or platform, please consider that I did not consent to it.

_“Arthur!”_

With all the things that Arthur Pendragon, King of Camelot, apparently did not have, it had been the blessing, or the curse, of a light sleep that was one of his few undeniable features, drilled into him by Uther and the years of training. While Merlin seemed rather appealed to argue whether his head had been filled with anything else than hot air, the young warlock had never, in all the years that the two had known each other for, tried to convince Arthur that his sleep was no unusually light. He had not kept count of how many times he had been torn from the comforts of sleep by Merlin, back then still in his role as the trustworty manservant, dropping something or walking into the edge of his table by accident. Even the slightest rattling of his inkwells had been enough to wake him and while it had annoyed him at first, the sight of Merlin’s blushed face, o-shaped mouth and glistering eyes had soon been enough to make his initial anger disappear. Now that he and Merlin were sharing a bed, that Arthur was finally able to indulge in what he had yearned to do for years - the younger man sleeping safe and secure in his arms, he more often found himself sleeping through Merlin’s antics.

The occasions that his sleep was unusually deep, however, were the sweet moments of bliss that would roll over him after he and Merlin would have shared in uttermost togetherness. If he would have known earlier just how soft Merlin’s hair was and how sinfully right Merlin’s legs would feel when they were wrapped around his waist, Arthur would have forced himself to admit to the love that he had harbored for the younger man a lot sooner than he had done it. How big of a clotpole he had been! They had lost _years_ because he had tried to tell himself that he had merely been imagining the way that Merlin had looked at him, because he had forced himself to ignore the tension that had come up in his chest every time that he had seen Gwaine’s arm over Merlin’s shoulders. It had taken every last ounce of his self-control to not grab the knight and pull him off the young warlock with a growl - and in the end, it had taken an attempt on his life for him and Merlin to finally find each other. After Mordred had stabbed him, had flawed him with a wound that had left behind a hideous scar on his upper stomach, and Merlin had whispered a teary love confession as Arthur had been laying with his head propped up in Merlin’s lap, it had no longer been his past life that had flashed in front of his eyes. It had no longer been images of himself as a child, but images of what he possibly could have had with Merlin. Merlin. The last thing that he had seen before the blood loss had robbed him of his consciousness had been Merlin’s tear-steaked and heartbroken face above him.

“Thank you.” Why it had been those words that he had spend on what he had believed to have been his last breath on, he did not know to this day. _I love you_ had been the only thing that he had thought, over and over again. _I love you, Merlin. I love you, I love you._ “Arthur, no...” His heart had never been broken as much as when he had Merlin’s whispered plea, and he had cursed himself for not having enough strength left to bring a hand up and cup that breathtakingly beautiful face above him. _I love you._ While Mordred’s plan had been an almost perfectly executed one, in every meaning of the word, it had failed to take his life. When Arthur had felt his consciousness coming back to him, when bright sunlight had caused him to groan and try to turn his head away, he had not known what would be met with and just as it had been when he had closed his eyes, Merlin had been the only thing that his mind had circled around. Merlin, the young warlock with the most capturing eyes that Arthur had ever seen. Merlin, his manservant, with curved lips that Arthur had been desperate to kiss every time that they had turned into a smile. What a fool of a man he had been, having failed to confess his love before he had passed on from his life.

“-thur? Arthur?"

There had been a cloth on his forehead as he had slowly regained his consciousness and the deep breath that he had drawn had caught in his throat when he had opened his eyes and had seen Merlin, his beloved Merlin, sitting at the side of his bed and holding said cloth to his forehead. The younger man’s face had been pale, with dark, almost purple circles taking the shine away from those beautiful blue-grey eyes. He had wanted to reach out and touch Merlin, unable to believe that they had _truly_ been so close to each other again but a sharp stab of pain had shot through his body when he had done so much as lift his arms a few inches off the mattress. The pain had caused him to groan, and he had wished that had not done so when Merlin’s eyes had grown to be filled with tears from one second to another. Please do not cry, he had wanted to say, but his throat had been too dried-up for him to speak. Merlin, his beloved, trustworthy Merlin, had, of course, noticed that he had been uncomfortable. “Would you like... a bit of water?”

He had nodded and the younger man had hurried to retrieve a cup of water, Arthur’s eyes not leaving him as he had done so. The pain that had radiated from his bandaged wound had not been the reason as for why his heart had been beating strongly agains his rips, and dread had collected in the pit of his stomach when Merlin had bowed before he had sat down on the bed beside him to cup the back of Arthur’s head and help him into a position that would have allowed him to drink without choking. Merlin had not spoken as he had rested the cup against Arthur’s lips and had waited until Arthur had signaled that his thirst had been satisfied. “Is there anything else that I can do for you?” Licking over his chapped lips, Arthur had raised his gaze to Merlin’s face. “You do not have to do... _that_ anymore,” he had managed to bring out, his voice a lot less established than it had usually been, and he had forced himself to lift his arm regardless of the pain that it had caused him to be able to brush his fingers against Merlin’s wrist. He had not expeced the younger man to flinch and stood from the bed in an abrupt motion. “Merlin -” “I should have known,” Merlin had whispered, apparently more so to himself, and Arthur had been utterly dumbstruck. “Mer-” “I should have known that you would dismiss me once I told you.” _Oh no. Oh no, no_. Arthur had not noticed that his mouth had stood agape for a few good moments and it had only been when Merlin had turned away that he had managed to get himself to react.

“Merlin.” The younger man had frozen in his movement, but had stayed with his back turned towards Arthur and even a blind man could have how much Merlin had been struggling to keep his composure upright. “I will not let you go.” He had longed to hold him, to console him and to tell him that his feelings had been no less intense and he had cursed himself for having granted Mordred the chance to injure him. “Would you please look at me at least?” Merlin had obeyed. Of course he had; and in a way, Arthur had wished that he would not have done so. He had not wanted him to obey him any more. Not only had Merlin’s eyes been filled with tears, but the young warlock had looked devastated. Utterly and honestly devastated. “I no longer want you in my service because I want _you_ , Merlin. _You_. Not your blind obedience to my crown.” Merlin had looked at him as if he had just grown a second head - and it had only been then that Merlin never would have expected to hear such things from him. “You were right, I am an utter clotpole.” “Arthur...” “But I am a clotpole that loves you, Merlin.” His entire body had seemed to burn from the strain of keeping his arm raised; it had, however, been worth it once Merlin had taken his hand and had sat down beside him. “I thought that I would lose you, I thought that... you would die on me, Arthur. I was so scared.”

Merlin’s voice had been trembling and before Arthur could have asked whether he would have liked to lie down beside him, he had an arm-full of the crying man. While those memories had went hand in hand with rather unpleasant feelings, Arthur still liked to recall them. It had been then that he had lost his manservant and had gained a lover - _the_ lover that was currently grinding down on him with sinfully skilled movements of his hips.

Merlin’s face was flushed into a lovely shade of pink and if Arthur’s hands would not have been holding on to those cursed hips, he would have pulled his lover’s bottom lip out from where Merlin had been biting onto it. “Merlin!” The younger man breathed a laugh, pausing in his movements to look down at Arthur with a teasingly cocked eyebrow. “I am all ears.” “Please do not stop.” His hips twitched almost pathetically so, the tension in his nethers enough to drive him crazy and if his fingers were digging into the soft flesh of Merlin’s hips hard enough to leave bruises, the other did not care enough to complain. “ _Please_.” A moan escaped him when Merlin shifted in his postion to lean down and capture his lips in a bruising kiss. “If you wish so.” “You better, or you will sleep in the stable tonight!” It was an empty threat, of course, but Merlin knew just how little he was able to deal with being so close to the edge of an orgasm. “Oh well, I am sure that Gwaine will not be averse to share his bed with m- _ah!_ ”

Within a second Arthur had sat up, had wrapped his arms around Merlin and had turned them over so that he was hovering over the black-haired warlock. “What did you say?” That it was ridiculous for them to have a conversation when Arthur’s cock was still throbbing inside of Merlin, both of them knew, and Arthur grinned after he had drawn a needly moan from his lover by sucking a harsh bruise onto the side of his neck. Merlin knew exactly what he was doing to him, the little tease. He fucked into him with newly-found vigor, the burn of Merlin’s nails on his back spurring him on even more than his rapidly approaching orgasm did. A few more thrusts, a handful of breathless moans and they came in quick succession, Arthur inside of Merlin and Merlin over his fist. “ _Fuck_.” “Was I that good?” Plopping down beside his lover, Arthur laughed at his own comment while Merlin merely rolled his eyes and swung his legs off the edge of the bed. He failed to hide a gasp, “I was merely joking.” “Hm?” “You are not... going to ask Gwaine, right? I do not want you to leave.” “ _What?_ ” Arthur felt heat rising into his cheeks when Merlin turned around to look at him, a wide grin on his face at his utterance. Oh, he was so done for.

“You,” Merlin laughed and leaned over to kiss him, “are a serious clotpole, Arthur.” “I love you too.” “I know that you do.” “Stay.” Before the younger could have struggled, Arthur had pulled him into a tight embrace. “Please stay with me.” “I need to get water -” “You can get it later.” Merlin stayed. Arthur loosened his arms from around him just enough for his lover to comfortaby cuddle up against him. “Did you really think that I would ask _Gwaine?_ ” He muttered something underneath his breath and pulled a pout, one that Merlin eased away by stealing another kiss from him. The younger man clicked his tongue, “I love you.”

“Buffoon.”

“Dollop-head.”

“Girl’s petticoat.”

“Royal prat.”

“Useless toad of a servant.”

“Oh do shut up!”

“Idiot.” The warm afternoon sun was flooding their bedroom, and Merlin laughed softly when Arthur yawned. “At least there will be no more insults coming from you if you are asleep.” The only answer came in the form of a grunt. Arthur found himself falling asleep rather fast, the last thing he perceived was the kiss that Merlin pressed onto his cheek. Life was good for them. His wound had healed over as nice as it only could have done it, considering the badly-sharpened knife that Mordred had used, and while Arthur hated the way that it stood out so broadly on his skin, he appreaciated it at the same time. If he would not have gotten stabbed, it probably would have taken another half a decade until he and Merlin would have found to each other, another five years that he would have been forced to stand by and watch how Gwaine or others wrapped their arms around Merlin as if it had been nothing. How many times he had felt his heart ache at the sight of Gwaine and Merlin laughing and _hugging_ each other constantly - and while he had not gone so far as to force Merlin to end the friendship with the seemingly always smiling knight, he had told him that he had not been comfortable with all the... touching. Merlin had listened. Oh, of course his Merlin had listened.

It had not changed anything about the fact that Arthur was jealous and incredibly possessive of the younger man. He had tried to not let it be too obvious, but he had worried that Merlin might eventually find someone who he would believe more worthy of his love - and he had not yet los the fear that someone might try and take Merlin from him. With force, if needed. He had spend many nighs, especially during the very beginning of their relationship, holding Merlin in his arms while the younger man had slept peacefully and Arthur’s mind had produced one image of horror after another. Merlin being forcefully grabbed from behind and dragged away, his slender arms flailing and his eyes wide with fear. Merlin being attacked on horseback. Merlin being chained to a wall in a dark, forlorn dungeon. “Arthur!” Yes, Arthur was inclined to fall into a deep sleep after having shared a perfect orgasm with the love of his life, but he never could have slept through his name being called.

He woke from his nap with a groan and blindly reached out to where he suspected Merlin to be, only to find the bed beside him empty. “Merls?” “A-Arthur!” The last remainders of sleep were gone when he heard the shrill voice calling out for him. Merlin. He was so focused on _Merlin_ and what could have happened - a kidnapping, for example, that he nearly would have stormed out of his bedroom in the state of nude that he was in. Clenching his jaw shut so tightly that it was beginning to hurt, Arthur hurried to slip into the next best piece of clothing that he found. He did nothing more than grab his sword before he dashed off, another desperate call accompanying him. “Arthur, help!” Arthur took the stair three steps at a time, his heart racing and his hearing deafened by the blood that was rushing through his earth. “Merlin!” Shouting for him even before he had reached the courtyard, Arthur was preparing himself for the worst. If Merlin had not yet managed to use his magic, it was bad for the both of them. “Merlin!” “Aaaaarthur!” Merlin’s voice was the only one that he could make out and he carelessly threw the scabbard onto the ground as he threw himself against the wooden entrance door.

Though what he did find on the courtyard exceeded anything that Arthur’s mind had come up with.

Merlin _did_ seem scared, and Merlin _was_ running away while calling his name as if he was his lifeline.

But there was no weapon-wielding enemy that Arthur needed to fight.

Merlin was running away from a gaze of raccoons, running across the couryard much like a hunted hare. Arthur, who held his sword raised and ready to use it as soon as possible if needed, could not do but to stare in disbelief for a few long moment. “Merlin?” “Arthur, oh! Help me!” He had tried not to laugh, he really had. He should not have laughed, considering that his lover had been honestly scared, but... in the end, Arthur never could have helped himself. It was just too good of a sigh. His adorable, idiot of a lover! Lowering his sword, he leaned against the nearest as he was shaken by laughter. He could not do but to laugh. His _adorable_ Merlin, who managed to save his life, was utterly helpess in a situation as harmless as this one. “What are you laughing at you - you _prat!_ ” Something about the way that Merlin swiftly moved around the well that stood in the middle of the courtyard had told Arthur that this was by far not the first time he did it.

“Merls, what did you do?” Merlin’s cheek had since gained a shade of red that spoke of exhaustion, but the raccoons did not seem to tire as fast and Arthur had been about to throw another teasing question at him when Merlin stumbled over his own feet and fell flat onto the ground. His laughter died down as soon as he heard the tale-telling sniffling of someone trying to keep himself from crying and Arthur hurried to join Merlin where his lover was sitting in the dirt. “Are you hurt?” He was hurt. Apart from the scrape on his chin, which was a result of his fall, there were scratched on his hands, forearms and given the way that Merlin’s shirt was torn, there must have been similar marks on his back.

Whether it had been due to hid presence of the fact that Merlin was no longer running, Arthur did not know, but the gaze of raccoons was skipping into the opposite direction. “Come, get up.” “Ow,” the younger man muttered as he felt at the wound on his face. Clicking his tongue and shaking his head, Arthur took Merlin by the shoulders, gently, of course, to turn him around. “You need to put something on these scratchmarks,” he said with a sigh, kissing a spot on Merlin’s shoulder that had been spared. “Those raccoons surely can be vicious little creatures.” “I am having an affair.” “What?” Before Arthur’s heart could have bursted into a million shards, Merlin had turned around with a stark red face. “I would rather admit to having an affair than - than confess to be _attacked_ by _raccoons_ because I made the mistake to feed them once! _Once!_ ” Cocking his eyebrow and crossing his arms in front of his chest, Arthur looked at Merlin much like a father would have done it with an unruly child. “I told you to not feed them, Merlin, did I not?” “It does not really matter.” “It does. _I_ told you.” “Oh shut up, you royal clotpole.” “ _I_ never thought about feeding them.”

Merlin huffed a laugh and wiped at the unwanted tears on his face with the back of his hand while Arthur reached for his free one. “You will never let me live it down, will you?” “There is no chance that I will.”

_Fin._


End file.
